( interlude: from the slog of writing )

...

9:05 AM
what's feeling stressful, wanting to do well or something else?

9:08 AM
I think it's the same problem I've been trying to handle for a few different endeavours — trying to be articulate about my joint interests when I don't even feel like I can see the full picture

9:09 AM
whew, that is relatable.

...

9:12 AM
but what about the stuff i don't know i don't know? 🥲

9:13 AM
put that on the map too? maybe imagine where it might be?

the unknown unknowns I think we acknowledge when we locate our "subject position' as we write. like i'm this kind of reader/thinker, talking about this, which is what i know about, and i'm speaking from here, not over there or somewhere else i can't even see, where i'd know different things

9:14 AM
hmmm hmm

that's interesting

...

9:17 AM
i feel like i'm always having to re-learn what writing is like! like how i'm always scared to write and i put it off because i feel like i don't know enough and the feeling of being stuck is so frustrating and scary. but when i push myself to just write, it turns out that the more thoughts i can get down - even if they're not well connected at this point - the more i can start to see the shape of the road that's buried there, and i can feel more confident in editing and rewriting going forward.

it's so hard to imagine at the start that it's even going to go anywhere. but i almost never know the whole picture when i start, so i need to just lurch forward and keep fumbling through it.

and give myself enough time to stew in it.

9:19 AM
whew

9:20 AM
Oh soooo relatable

it gets all tangled up and pent up, that's the stewing, thinking process when it feels like it will never make sense!

...

9:23 AM
It's like knitting too, at the beginning it feels like it's never going to be a *thing*

trueeee

i think talking is so helpful though! i don't think i've articulated that struggle to myself until just now explaining it to you

and i got a lot of my draft down after talking to a friend about some of the ideas

i think it helps relieve the pressure of you and the blank page

❤️ i'm glad it's helpful!! talking it through really helps!